At 40, I was late to this game.— I swung the barn door wide open.
I explained how growing up, I'd assumed I'd get married and have children, but as I progressed through my 20s and 30s, I never felt a desire to do either — that is, until now. You absolutely must get on this, immediately."Inexplicably unfazed by his being a complete asshole, I pressed on, earnestly confessing my concerns about timing: My fertility was fast waning, but my relationship was still brand-new.
Now I get by with the help of some great college girls who have become like family members.
Of course there are times when I feel like I'm losing it: It's snowing out and I have a child with a fever and I have to walk the dog... You make friends with that nice young guy in your building who won't mind walking your dog sometimes.
If I'm a cautious, plan-making type, Grady is the sort who goes out and does something while everyone else sits around hemming and hawing.
She struck me as suited to such a big leap, so unlike me.
With the help of a sperm donor, a team of doctor's and nurses, the support of my mother, and yes, my grandmother, I became a mom to my son in 2009.
My son and my Grandmother overlapped in my life for six months exactly. Today I am making it because my mother just offered to give my son a bath and get him settled into bed so that I could finish a work project.
Though she has "solo" status, Shumaker says she has never really parented "solo." Thanks to immeasurable support from her family, friends, and neighbors, Shumaker has been able to learn the "nonstop dance of my needs and my son's needs," and what the true meaning of balance is to a single parent (which, in some cases, can be measured in a shower and clean clothes! See why dating is hardly on her radar, how being a caregiver first made her a better mom, and how she learned that single parenting "never involves checking everything off your to do list." In 2003, I left my career in the film industry in Hollywood to become my grandmother's caregiver.
I've been surprised to find out all the things I can do as a woman raising a child on my own. It pinches sometimes, but I've become very good at saving.
(I didn't used to be.) I've even learned how to do some of the "man stuff": I've put together a crib, a miniature Vespa scooter (so many pieces! For the first few years, I had a nanny and I went into some serious debt, but I hustled my way out of it — the single-mom hustle, I call it.
In a society where marriage and motherhood traditionally go hand in hand, Takada is one of a number of Japanese "single mothers by choice" gaining media and public attention.
"At a time when women's lifestyles in Japan are becoming diverse and while support groups for single mothers exist, there is none specifically for single mothers by choice," said the 47-year-old Takada, representative of a group whose activities include operating the SMC (Single Mother by Choice) network.